"The only impossible journey is the one you never begin"
I wake up, brush my teeth, eat breakfast, brush again, go to school, come home, eat lunch, do homework, sleep. In an ever-changing life, something that has always remained constant has been my daily routine. Without taking into account some weekends and family trips, this procedure has become a habit over the course of a few years; however, now I am being forced to break it.
Without sounding overly dramatic, I have been dreading the Lunahuana trip for months. Ever since my brother told me about it last year I have been hoping for something terrible to happen that would forbid me from going; but it pains me to say that the trip is only a few days away, and I am still safe and sound.
I don't know weather it was the way I was raised or my sheer personality itself, but for some reason or another, spontaneous living has never been my thing. It's strange, though, me being a person who likes to take risks, I have never been fond of change, which is something I have learned that can limit my possibilities of learning in several occasions.
Sure, there is a saying: "if something's not broken, don't fix it." And I have been living with that motto for a great part of my life, but now I notice there is a loophole in that same phrase. Of course, If something works, then why try to change it? But what happens if by changing it you can actually improve it?
I fear that I have been living most of my life afraid of jeopardizing the well-being of a few things that work just fine, when by doing so I could have, in reality, made them much better. But that is the thing with risks, with risks you never know. So in the end, of course I'm mortified of the idea of going on a camping trip for four days, but who knows, maybe I'll learn a few things along the way.
I don't recall much of my early years of life, but one of my first memories as a child was the day I went on a trip to Orlando with my family. I was only about 3 to 4 years old back then, and I was sort of scared of planes; most of all ascending into the air, and the turbulence that we might experience along the way. As I was sitting down on a seat much to big for my size, I recall looking up at my dad, who sat besides me, and saying: "Dad, I'm scared." He Bent forward, to reach eye level with me and said: "Don't worry honey, as long as you know where you're headed towards, as long as you know your destination, the turbulence along the way is just a small bump in the road." He then sat next to me and held my hand as the plane reached its peak height. After that, the plane ride passed by quite quickly, yet I don't know if it was the feeling of fear that filled my body, or the relief of listening to my father speak, but for some reason or another the memory stuck with me.
Much like the turbulence on the plane, this passing week our project was faced with an obstacle that we thought would be hard to overcome. For a while, the issue was that the president of La Asociación Gremial de Pescadores en Pucusana was not formal, in the means that he did not pay taxes and had no bank account nor RUC; And he had no interest in formalizing. This put a damper on our project, seeing as these were prerequisites Vivanda had that were necessary in order to work along side the community of Pucusana. We must have spent hours figuring things out, for a whole week questioning the essence of the project. We realized how depending on people can sometimes be a burden; because when we needed people the most, they were not replying straight away, putting us in some sort of emotional limbo in regards to the project.
When we were faced with this problem, I went back to what my dad had said to me on that flight to Orlando: "As long as you know where you're headed towards, as long as you know your destination, the turbulence along the way is just a small bump in the road." And a bump in the road was all it was. Knowing the final goal, knowing our journey's end, we were able to figure something out. We called Jessica Pinos, our contact in the Ministry of fishing, and she told us they in fact did have a formal system that could benefit us in this project, so we were back on track.
Even though we were able to recover from this issue, it did in fact make us reflect and go back to the point of start. We decided to make a report to document our findings, so that in the case we weren't able to reach the 'destination', then at least the plane wouldn't crash.
I woke up this ordinary morning, on a day not so different to the rest. I went on with my morning routine; getting up, washing my face, combing my hair and whatnot. Yet when I looked up in the mirror, something was different. It wasn't physical nor mental, it was solemnly a feeling; I had just turned 16.
As of today, I have lived through sixteen summers and sixteen winters, 584 mornings and 583 afternoons, numerous smiles and countless laughters. I have endured sorrows and great challenges, a few deaths and many births. I have traveled and I have learnt; yet, I find myself sitting here, motionless, thinking: How much have I really lived?
My body has just started its sixteenth year of life, and throughout its course of existence I can't say with confidence that I have really made the most it. They say that your life flashes before your eyes when you are about to die, so I find myself wondering: If -god forbid- I were to die tomorrow, what memories would I most recall?
Besides marking the end of the first third of the year, May 2nd marks the start to the new me. With every passing birthday one can put away memories they want to forget, and make resolutions to have a fresh start. This May 2nd of 2015 indicates the beginning of a more curious, less apathetic me. A more adventurous and open-minded person, someone who doesn't fear, who doesn't regret. This May 2nd I make a promise to myself: One year from today, I am to go back to this small blog post and ask myself the question; "What has changed?"
“The earth has music for those who listen.”