As the month of August progresses, we (class of 2017) move forward to what will be our second to last year of school. With the coming of this new year, us students have been granted the under-rated opportunity to- without sounding overly dramatic- start over.
This chance of beginning again, of pressing the reset button, is one that we don't get too often. For once we get a clean slate, allowing us to leave old habits behind and create a new name for ourselves. But still, something leaves me questioning, how genuine is this clean slate? Throughout our lives, we create a reputation for ourselves, as we meet people they begin to form what we call expectations of behavior. Even though these expectations may seem harmless at the moment, they do, limit and categorize us in some way. While they won't always be negative in effect, they can strain us from learning opportunities; which is something I have seen happening in these few weeks of school. For instance, I take into account the first day of I-week in the Innovation Academy; where teachers gave us a task to accomplish and guided us towards dividing into roles. For the purpose of this anecdote, you must understand that I am someone with a great eye for design, and one could say, a passion for it too. I tend to place myself in projects that involve aesthetics, but after a while of repeating this tendency, other people have begun to build this expectation. So, when the time of dividing into roles came upon, everybody already expected me to take part in the design team, which as you can imagine, I did. Now don't get me wrong, I am not saying that others' thoughts drove me into doing something I disagreed with, I am also to blame. Much like other people expected this from me, I am also part of this group of behaviour. This habit that I have formed can also be called a comfort zone, and when the time of dividing into roles came, I did not choose to escape it. But still, I wonder, if a genuine clean slate was given, then how come my reputation still followed me? Maybe if nobody expected me to behave some way, maybe if I didn't expect that from myself, I might have been more likely to try another experience. And even though I learned a lot from being on the website design team, by opening my mind to a less known role I could have still broadened my insight. After all, we learn from these new experiences.
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I began this winter break not knowing what to do with my life, I had no idea what I wanted to study, what courses I wanted to take, and was doubtful about whether or not I should drop the OPP; but thankfully, I now have a better idea about how my future might pan out.
Through these vacations, I had the chance to be part of a five-week, college preparation program, where I took several classes that allowed me to broaden my knowledge as well as to gain insight on some posible career paths to take; but it wasn't until arriving to Lima and listening to these two speeches that I was able to make a final decision. While I was watching Steve Jobs' graduation speech, I found myself relating the dilemma of dropping the OPP to his experience of dropping out of college. In the speech, Jobs specifically says how he followed his intuition and in the end it turned out being the best decision he ever took. See, beyond what Jobs say about finding what he loved, he also ended up finding what he didn't love and took action upon it. He decided that college was not for him, and fled to follow his true passions in life. As for me, if there is one thing that I am certain of is that the Innovation Academy is my program, and that being said, I had to decide whether I wanted to take Spanish or an elective course. Through the college prep camp I found that the undergrad major I am most interested in is psychology, and me being sure that studying abroad is the right decision for me, the most logical decision to take was to drop the OPP and instead take on a psychology course at school. Much like Jobs mentioned, taking this decision was pretty scary, many of my peers questioned and had trouble accepting it, but I wasn't about to lead a path into living somebody else's life, so in I chose to trust my gut, to follow my passions and hope that it will all turn out ok. As he said: "There is no reason not to follow your heart." " Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary." - S T E V E J O B S The This is water speech, by David Foster Wallace also did quite an impression on me. I was able to identify myself with what David called the 'default setting' mindset on. I commonly find myself being swayed by first impressions or indirect stereotypes that my mind creates; failing to understand the fact that everybody has their own story, a story that I am yet to comprehend. Without knowing these stories, who am I to judge? But after watching this speech I realized that we are the ones who decide how to perceive reality, we are the ones who decide what to consider and how to react. I remember when I was young I used to go everywhere with this red microbead pillow that my grandmother gifted me when I was born. It had endured long nights of insomnia as well as short nights of deep sleep, it had traveled around the world; I would never spend a night away from it. As the years went by, the red pillow got older and more used up, it broke several times, and several times we sewed it up. Around the time I was six, the red pillow was patched up and had lost most of its fillings. My mom begged me to throw it away, but I refused to do so, because I always though to myself: Someday I’ll give this pillow to my kids, and they’ll love it just as much as I did.
What stood out to me after going over the videos and articles of Patagonia, was the connection I found between their products and my red pillow. I believe that when consumers are able to find meaning behind a company's products, that is when the company has succeeded. And I can say that Patagonia, in that sense, has been able to sell clothing that doesn't only create meaning, but that inspires others to pursue their true meaning in life. As I was watching the short documentary, I was able to see the drive in the subject's eyes; the way they spoke about their passions really displayed fulfillment and purpose. Yet, what I liked the most about this marketing strategy was how they were able to compose a beautiful video that went beyond just talking about the products; it showed the hidden stories behind their merchandise that many fail to notice. I feel that nowadays, we tend to purchase disposable artifacts, in the means that we use them only once. But in reality, clothing is meant to be worn, items are meant to be used, because every product we consume has so much potential, it all lies on weather we make the most of it or not. Upon reflecting on the media I went over, I was able to realize that stories are all around us, and we have the power to make some of our own, to make stories that are worth passing. When that man put on his pair of shorts, he remembered all they had been through, when that woman warmed up with her beanie, she thought back to all the distances she had hiked, and as for me, I still sleep with my red, microbead pillow, and eventually, when the time comes, I'll pass it on to my kids (or what is left of it) and hope they appreciate the history behind it. Have you ever had one of those days were you just don't seem to get a break? Well, after enduring such ever-lasting hours, all I can say is Oh god. Two words that in essence describe this day so far.
In order to understand my level of frustration, you must know that these past few weeks have been extremely stressful. Besides having several approaching assignment deadlines and un-finnished projects that are soon coming to an end, I find myself at home having to balance time between my psychologist, tutoring and even sports. But nothing seems to even near the length of stress caused by two extremely demanding projects: Mi Pescador Peruano and Munchies (my IBG) See, this upcoming week is crucial for the progress of both tasks, and we find ourselves constantly setting meetings and counting on people to do their jobs; because when you deeply care about something, you won't settle for nothing less than perfect. Well, without further ado, here is my best attempt to narrating this perplexingly complex day. To begin with I had my POL this morning, so I started the day by waking up at 4 am to go over my presentation, and then arriving at 7 to school to practice some more. Well, then I POL-ed and stayed there POL-ing until noon, where I was supposed to get my long-waited break, but instead I wound up selling Munchies in lunch. Then at 1:50 pm I was surprised with the fact that I had to stand in front of the class for an hour and a half analyzing my behaviour this semester, crowdsourcing. And at the end of the day, when I was finally supposed to go home, I topped off the day with the fabulous news that the woman whom we had set a meeting with for the project had postponed it; and if that wasn't bad enough, we had someone already traveling from Pucusana to Lima in order to make this meeting happen. Now I am writing this on the car ride from school to my house, jotting down ideas on my i-phone notes, knowing that when I arrive home I will be faced with a load of homework. Varying from IA, to non-IA classes, i have a mixture of assignments like lab conclusions, chapters of books and presentations that have been delayed in my priorities because of my POL. All assignments of which I must complete by tomorrow; yet, even knowing all of that is awaiting me, knowing that I have still about six more hours of stress, I can't help but enjoy this car ride. I don't know if it is the overwhelmingness of assignments, or maybe the fact that moments like these go unappreciated, but it feels like years have passed since the last time that I was alone with my thoughts. Sure, I do sometimes find time, maybe before going to sleep or while dozing off in a classroom, to think; however I always seem to have something in mind. It may be this constant desire towards perfection that I tend to have, as I said before, I can't avoid settling for less than flawless when it comes to things that I truly care about, but I always find myself over-worriing. And though this does serve as a propeller to get things done, it does limit my chances of nearing deeper reflection; which is something that I feel I am reaching during this ride. As I'm daydreaming I can't help but wonder what it would be like to escape, to leave all responsibilities behind. But while my mind dozes off, I'm aware that all of these pictures are only but mere dreams, nothing like reality, which is why I know that soon the car will arrive home, park in the same spot as always, and I will be forced to put an end to this never-ending arduous day. Which is why I can only say: How I wish it was already tomorrow. "The only impossible journey is the one you never begin" -Anthony Robbins I wake up, brush my teeth, eat breakfast, brush again, go to school, come home, eat lunch, do homework, sleep. In an ever-changing life, something that has always remained constant has been my daily routine. Without taking into account some weekends and family trips, this procedure has become a habit over the course of a few years; however, now I am being forced to break it.
Without sounding overly dramatic, I have been dreading the Lunahuana trip for months. Ever since my brother told me about it last year I have been hoping for something terrible to happen that would forbid me from going; but it pains me to say that the trip is only a few days away, and I am still safe and sound. I don't know weather it was the way I was raised or my sheer personality itself, but for some reason or another, spontaneous living has never been my thing. It's strange, though, me being a person who likes to take risks, I have never been fond of change, which is something I have learned that can limit my possibilities of learning in several occasions. Sure, there is a saying: "if something's not broken, don't fix it." And I have been living with that motto for a great part of my life, but now I notice there is a loophole in that same phrase. Of course, If something works, then why try to change it? But what happens if by changing it you can actually improve it? I fear that I have been living most of my life afraid of jeopardizing the well-being of a few things that work just fine, when by doing so I could have, in reality, made them much better. But that is the thing with risks, with risks you never know. So in the end, of course I'm mortified of the idea of going on a camping trip for four days, but who knows, maybe I'll learn a few things along the way. I don't recall much of my early years of life, but one of my first memories as a child was the day I went on a trip to Orlando with my family. I was only about 3 to 4 years old back then, and I was sort of scared of planes; most of all ascending into the air, and the turbulence that we might experience along the way. As I was sitting down on a seat much to big for my size, I recall looking up at my dad, who sat besides me, and saying: "Dad, I'm scared." He Bent forward, to reach eye level with me and said: "Don't worry honey, as long as you know where you're headed towards, as long as you know your destination, the turbulence along the way is just a small bump in the road." He then sat next to me and held my hand as the plane reached its peak height. After that, the plane ride passed by quite quickly, yet I don't know if it was the feeling of fear that filled my body, or the relief of listening to my father speak, but for some reason or another the memory stuck with me.
Much like the turbulence on the plane, this passing week our project was faced with an obstacle that we thought would be hard to overcome. For a while, the issue was that the president of La Asociación Gremial de Pescadores en Pucusana was not formal, in the means that he did not pay taxes and had no bank account nor RUC; And he had no interest in formalizing. This put a damper on our project, seeing as these were prerequisites Vivanda had that were necessary in order to work along side the community of Pucusana. We must have spent hours figuring things out, for a whole week questioning the essence of the project. We realized how depending on people can sometimes be a burden; because when we needed people the most, they were not replying straight away, putting us in some sort of emotional limbo in regards to the project. When we were faced with this problem, I went back to what my dad had said to me on that flight to Orlando: "As long as you know where you're headed towards, as long as you know your destination, the turbulence along the way is just a small bump in the road." And a bump in the road was all it was. Knowing the final goal, knowing our journey's end, we were able to figure something out. We called Jessica Pinos, our contact in the Ministry of fishing, and she told us they in fact did have a formal system that could benefit us in this project, so we were back on track. Even though we were able to recover from this issue, it did in fact make us reflect and go back to the point of start. We decided to make a report to document our findings, so that in the case we weren't able to reach the 'destination', then at least the plane wouldn't crash. I woke up this ordinary morning, on a day not so different to the rest. I went on with my morning routine; getting up, washing my face, combing my hair and whatnot. Yet when I looked up in the mirror, something was different. It wasn't physical nor mental, it was solemnly a feeling; I had just turned 16.
As of today, I have lived through sixteen summers and sixteen winters, 584 mornings and 583 afternoons, numerous smiles and countless laughters. I have endured sorrows and great challenges, a few deaths and many births. I have traveled and I have learnt; yet, I find myself sitting here, motionless, thinking: How much have I really lived? My body has just started its sixteenth year of life, and throughout its course of existence I can't say with confidence that I have really made the most it. They say that your life flashes before your eyes when you are about to die, so I find myself wondering: If -god forbid- I were to die tomorrow, what memories would I most recall? Besides marking the end of the first third of the year, May 2nd marks the start to the new me. With every passing birthday one can put away memories they want to forget, and make resolutions to have a fresh start. This May 2nd of 2015 indicates the beginning of a more curious, less apathetic me. A more adventurous and open-minded person, someone who doesn't fear, who doesn't regret. This May 2nd I make a promise to myself: One year from today, I am to go back to this small blog post and ask myself the question; "What has changed?" Who hasn't tried one of Gisella's famous, mouth-watering cupcakes? Or even the delicious bites? Several dessert businesses can be found all around the FDR community; yet, most, if not all of them belong to senior students. So, for our IBG project, we started out with a problem. The issue was that most of the tasty food businesses would be annulated once the 12th grade students left FDR, hence an idea emerged. As Arianna, Santiago, Emilio, Ciro and I were sitting down one Thursday afternoon, our minds fled to the typical conversation topic: Food. We tend to talk about this when we have nothing else to discuss. We were dialoguing about how sweet businesses basically made up the community and we got to thinking; Why not start our own business? We clearly had the motivation, we had the time, what else was missing? As soon as our creativity sparked up, we began brainstorming.
We thought about several names, color schemes and logos, yet none seemed to actually profile our business correctly. After several iterations we got to this first draft of the logo and slogan; also accomplishing the task of our organization: To spread joy through FDR, one cookie at a time. Munchies: Not your typical cookie business. Up to now, we have began baking recipes and getting feedback on the products, making modifications and updating our business plan. Overall, I believe we are going through the right track. I truly believe that this IBG has a lot of potential, we can even think about continuing and expanding throughout our remaining high school years. Regardless of the profit made, I do believe that there is a lot of room for learning and truly getting some hands on experiences at business, marketing and even cooking areas of expertise. We are thinking on contacting a few experts on the subject in order to really make Munchies a remarkable success. Well, it's that time of the year again: Crowdsource grading, the moment where you have the opportunity to evaluate yourself and be evaluated as a learner. During this time lapse, we are given the task to grade ourselves, to receive feedback and then reflect, to really ask the question: "What number best represents me?" Believe me, I know very well the "don't let a number define you" statement; however, at the end of the day that pretty much sums it up. Through different aspects we are told to give ourselves a grade, to measure our performance on a scale from 1-7 and then justify why. Something that is truly hard to accomplish in my perspective.
I consider myself someone critical, yet confident in my own way. These properties of my personality face me with a crossroads, not allowing me to objectively give myself the best numerical representation of my interim accomplishments. This conflict rises from the issue of the point of view, and how different eyes are prone to witness different realities. The way I see something may not be equal to the way someone else perceives it, which is why I have learnt to put on my analytical goggles on when giving myself a grade. When it comes to self-evaluation we are faced with a conflict of interest. It happens to be in our best advantage to get good grades, which is why it comes as a challenge to be tough on one-self. Due to this, every time I have to measure myself as a learner, I apply self evaluation as if it were someone else. I look at the facts, the evidence, try to get a more logical angle to avoid the self subjectiveness; and for now, it seems to be working. So, in the end, I decided to challenge myself. There is still much room for improvement, something that I am aware of. I do believe that the grades I received were the grades that I deserved; yet, I am not going to lay back and relax. I trust that interim reports serve as a wake up call to many, and in my case, the message has been heard. These reports have served as a true eye opener, specially since in life we are not always going to be given the privilege of receiving such direct feedback. Due to this, it is highly important to begin building up this questioning voice inside our heads that noticed mistakes before it is too late to fix them. I have already created an action plan and set up to-do lists to begin my productiveness. I have began to read a documentary book and keep track of it via google docs, not to mention the book I am reading on my free time: "Elizabeth is missing". I have set up reminders and kept track of my errands on ical, I can say with absolute confidence that for the rest of tenth grade, I am going to be as proactive as I can! As I was sitting down in my couch reflecting about the week, my mind fled to the 26th of March, when our IA group met up with Gastón Acurio to talk about our artisanal fisherman project. Such a small lapse of time has passed since that day, yet it feels as if we've had months to really think the project through.
I recall leaving the meeting with Gastón feeling exited, overwhelmed in a good way. We felt as if we already had the project finished even before we started it; something that we now realize is not true at all. Of course, as one can imagine, this feeling didn't last for long. The week after the following, our group met with the supervisor of La Mar, whom Gastón had sent in our direction. He explained to us all the logistics of the actual project, and the work they had to complete during fifteen years in order to begin taking action. What Pepe from La Mar explained to us that Thursday afternoon, was that for years he and his team had to go research and investigate different fishing communities. They tried with a few and had several prototypes ready to be tested. Once they found a group of fishermen that fit the profile they were looking for, they exposed them to weeks of workshop training that would prepare them in order to yield high quality produce. All of this happened over the spam of several years, nonetheless they still failed numerous times and had to rethink the purpose and main idea of their project. Now, they have concluded that the best idea is to have a few fishermen from different locations send them fish, this works because it eliminates the threat of competition between fishermen and does not make the restaurant completely dependent of these men who from time to time have proved not to be completely reliable. Learning this new information certainly came as a shocker, we had been so confident that our project would be an easy success that we had not stop to think about the steps we would have to take in order to get there. To me, this all relates directly to one very important takeaway I from the book Good to Great: Facing the brutal facts. I believe that the excitement of the project from the week of March may have clouded our judgement, when in reality we had to be more realistic. But in the end, I can say assured that the bigger the pursuit, the bigger the reward; and I am certain that if we embrace this challenge and go all in, we can make the project a raging success. |
INNOVATE“The earth has music for those who listen.” MY BLOGS:
March 2017
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